I CAN WALK BETTER NOW.

THAT'S GOOD.

=]

HARE KRISHNA, HARE KRISHNA, KRISHNA  KRISHNA, HARE HARE.

HARE RAMA, HARE RAMA, RAMA RAMA, HARE HARE.

~

I do what i can do, one step at a time.

Low end mood.

Anyways, besides my fuming shitty rant below, im going to have a post about my foot to not have people ask me repeatedly what the shit is happening.

I took off my cast already and i am now partially able to walk. I still need crutches, I can walk by myself but only like a baby and I can use 1 crutch to help support me while I walk. But tomorrow I'm going to use 2 crutches to get to my lab because its in the fucking morning and I have to get there on time.

The nurse gave me a Darco shoe, which supports my foot so that it stays flat and doesnt let my bones feel the tension of the ground. So im supposed to apply weight slowly to my foot while I walk, and gradually heal by myself.

The bones have joined up already, but they still need to fill up the gaps and ossify. So theres still abit of soreness, and it might go away in a couple of weeks. When the bone completely fills up and heal, the pain would go away so when there is still soreness, it means i have to take it easy.

  Velcro sized fit. its like a sandal. I can wear sport shoes coz theres support but im not ready for that yet.



My whole leg shrunk but thats normal, my muscles will come back the coming month, i just need to have faith. It doesnt show the size difference much (my legs) in pictures so im not going to bother to show. Its more like, you can tell my leg is fragile and more floppy and soft because the muscles have gone and the fats stayed, so its wobbly.

but heres my really sore and discoloured foot.

it doesnt look that bad in pictures.

but im getting fucking pissed with blogger.

 I went to burger king after going to the doctor's by myself, and can finally use 1 crutch to help support me while I get my drink from the dispenser with the other hand and work my way to the table. Wish my tender crisp chicken burger and my lemony drink I dispensed for myself.

fries. salty fries.

heres my plate of food 2 days before i got my cast off. Brunei Students association celebrated raya in Cargill hotel.

and I sat a taxi from cumby to there and back to cumby again for 2 bucks because all 9 of us chipped in for the taxi. it was sweet. had quite a nice time too.

this is me when i was feeling quite happy with myself a few days ago.

until i became quite sleep deprived and whatever shit.
I cant help feeling melodramatic so you all can go fuck yourselves.

I took a nap at 9 just now and woke up after 11, and im blogging in midnight. And my racing heart slowed a little but im still feeling the thirst, I have no idea whats going on with my body. But im going to have to shower and work on my lab book and study for class at 9am. Maybe Take a nap after my work.

xia xue's new blog post smells like mediocre shit today,
it's as though she doesn't know what to blog about or what, and came up with some bimbotic crap like that.
beh zai kenapa fuck like that.

FMRs

TIRED.

GETTING THE STUPID NEWS THAT THERE'S GONNA BE VISITORS MAKES ME MORE TIRED.

LIKE I WOULD BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.

PSHHH

GO AWAY.

HUBS - 2ND SAT

HUBS - 22ND FRI

BIOC - 27TH WED

EPI - 29TH FRI

WITH SMALL TESTS IN BETWEEN. 

I'D RATHER SPEND MY TIME SLEEPING THAN PRETENDING TO LIKE YOU.

Gaining Momentum

Contemplation

I WANT TO START AN EXPERIMENT.

In what direction?

Right now, it is more important for me to achieve a more constant sense of well being than for me to study hard and get super high grades.

Grades at the moment = satisfactory.

I allow myself to contemplate without the worry of time.

WHEN THERE'S A PROBLEM...

YOUTUBE!

WHEN THERE'S STILL A PROBLEM...

VIDEOJUG!

YES YES!

Photoshop.

Titanic

I have to face that things would never be the same again...

and I have realized that I have never fully let go...

But I have to...

Because its not a part of me anymore..

It's not a part of me anymore so I have to let it go...

I'm meant to be different. It's okay to let go, because you don't need it anymore.

Why Is My Foot Swollen? 

What Am I Supposed To Do?

 

When you need to recharge,

Go and see the testimonials.

ramble ramble ramble do. ramble ramble ramble do.
ramble ramble ramble do. ramble ramble ramble do.

More tests to be awesome

Hey Hey
I just had my biochemistry test, which wasnt awesomeazing, and quite a downer. And whats more of a downer is that, Everyone else looks like they're okay with the test and quite up beat.

For the past -I dont know how many- few days, Ive been in my room lollylolling and I've gotten used to just staying in my room being distracted by my lappy, watching Family guy and playing stupid pointless FB games. Sleeping late, up till 4 in the morning. And I think my body has taken a toll on the late sleeps and late awakenings, my hearts thumping and my mood doesnt go any where above the midline. And maybe all these combination just shuts off my mind, and i dont feel compelled to study. Another Epi test is up, and its on the 24th I think, and another HUBS. I've probably missed like almost a months' worth of lectures for Hubs and Epi.

I changed my cast, its now in fiber glass and not in plaster of paris and its waterproof so I can bathe with it,and it'll dry off in about an hour. Im getting it off on the 27th this month, then ill be able to walk. Hopefully by myself and hopefully I get my muscles back quickly. 

I dont know what to think about my biochem test. My heart was never really there anyways. I care but I can not care, I know I dont care enough, but who would want to care so much about a test? It'd drive people crazy like its as if their life depended on it, and I should remind myself that tests...are just tests...
As long as I pass HSFY, and get to Physiotherapy next year, thats it. Then this will all be a distant memory. But why..do i care. Because people set high goals, reach high goals and have fun with it? Grades, you make me "fake" happy when youre good, and you make me feel "actual" sadness when youre bad. So whats so good about you anyways? you think youre all that because you quantify peoples intellegence, and make my friends cry. This is all bullshit, and I put up with you because well.. i cant find a reason that satisfies me. Because you're just another distraction and you give people a sense of bullshit security.


The Truth I would have to face, If you dont exist in my life, is too far too hard a journey. But thats how people should actually live their life. Through Passion. With Passion.

Things To Remember for tomorrow.

Selenium
found in beans, kidney, liver, brazillian nuts, eggs, fish.
gives cell membrane integrity and prevents perioxidation.
deficiency causes white muscle disease in sheep, with arched back.
it is a co-factor enzyme.
Dunedin, Tapanui, Christchurch is low in selenium.
deficiency causes Keshan disease in humans.
Enlargement of the heart, loss of flexibility
and has possible association to cancer.

Iodine.
deficiency causes gout and enlargement of thyroid gland.
goitre. in children, impairment of mental function. retarded physical development.
cretinism. abortions, still births. congenital abnormalities.

Iron.
deficiency causes anaemia and pale greyish red blood cells.
Iron found in red meat and whatever.
High requirement when pregnant, menstruating, growth spurt, inflammation, lactation
promoter: vitamin c
inhibitor: phytates, zinc, manganese, calcium

Zinc
promoter: organic acids, animal meat
inhibitor: phytates, manganese, calcium, iron
mild deficiency causes stunted growth, loss of taste sensation and appetite, impaired immune system
sever deficiency causes dwarfism, hypo-pigmented hair, delayed sexual maturation
metabolizes vitamin A, involved in carb,protein, lipid metabolism. hormonal interactions, immune functions, growth and reproduction

Folate/Folic Acid
increased requirement during early pregnancy to prevent NTD
taken in from supplements and fortified food
deficiency causes megaloblastic anaemia
megaloblastic anaemia also caused by B12 deficiency/
B12 deficiency is large amongst the elderly and vegans.

B1, thiamin deficiency causes Beri Beri

Riboflavin deficiency causes inflammation of mouth skin eyes and GI tract

Vitamin E found in lipids. Deficiency rare but causes neuropathy. maintenance of membrane integrity.

Vitamin K injected during birth.  prevents VKDB, spontaneous bleeding. Involved in Gamma Carboxy Glutamic Acid PTM.

Niacin deficiency causes pellegra.

BSE,Scrapie,CSD - due to prions in brain.

Alzheimer + diabetes II due to protein misfolding.


 

Magic found me!

I forgot that I have jaqy powers and magic dust! better start using it and sprinkle it all over the world!

The Indian man once said, not a lot of people like you, should not change. 

I remember now!

Time to hop back on to the bandwagon and continue with the ascension.

See

 The borderlines blur, and the colors of the rainbow doesn't look like just 7 anymore. It becomes inseparable when you look closer, everything's blended in with everything else.

In the beginning, you think everything is separate, but when you grow and learn to look a little more closer, a little more longer, you realize everything is more interconnected than it is separate.

Do you want to be grey? yellow? red? orange? purple? blue? green? or white?

Things are becoming less rigid outside. Its trying to tell me not to be so rigid and blind...

Mother's tummy rumbled...

EARTHQUAKEEEEEEEEE!!!!

lol.

after the building shook, I paused. 
Heard the girls rush out of their rooms to freak out about mother earth's rumble, but there was no alarm and no one that came up... a sign that theres no emergency... 
plummeted back to bed and tried to sleep amongst the noise of what happened...

light

it just makes it look like numbers that you trade in for awesome stuff!

woo hoo me!

  

 they just keep' on comin'

keep' on rollin'

oh yeah yeah~

MUSIC BABY! HERE I COME!

THE BOOM BOOM BE NEAR!

outside the box, always? past fog.

**GoodNight**